Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Life Worth Living - PART 3: Where I Am Now

Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 1: A Reflection
Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 2: A Decision Is Made

Wow. This is long over due. Part 1 was written back in December, and Part 2 back in February.

The daycare business has been going ok. It has turned out to be harder on my children than I thought it would be. My daughter is more understanding that my son (she's also 14 months older than he is) but there are still days that neither of them want it to be a daycare day (because of being part-time, we normally have daycare every-other-day). Although, she plays so well with our daycare friend who is her age that she gets over it quickly because they are so busy being imaginative and creative as we play and do activities/arts/crafts/etc. My son plays well, for the most part, but on the days that he is not happy about sharing me - you can definitely tell. Even the little things set him off into a crying fit. I take extra time to give him my full attention, but some days even that doesn't help. I know this is part of being a daycare mom...but it still saddens me.

In April of 2011 I took on two more part-time children, although instead of every-other-day like my other family, their schedule was Monday through Wednesday one week, alternating with just Wednesday the other week (and occasionally a Tuesday added to it). This seemed like a great deal, but the Mon-Wed weeks became difficult because we just had one non-daycare day (instead of two), and also they needed care until 5:30 (my other family's pick up time is 4:30) even though they all came at somewhat the same time in the morning. My hubby's weekend is Sunday through Tuesday, so the Mon-Wed weeks meant that the kids and I only had Sunday as our "weekend" together, and after a while I could see too many negative changes in my own kids (potty training regression, frustration, just plain out being sad).

It must have been a day in early fall (October maybe) that I remember having a bit of a breakdown during daycare rest time. I was downstairs and I think I had called my hubby. To see the sadness in my own children was tearing me apart. I know that people say "that is just how it goes sometimes" and "kids will adjust" and "children of daycare providers will make it through", etc...


I left my job because I was saddened by not being able to spend time with my children. And now here I was in the opposite situation. My children were saddened because they were not able to spend time with just me - and I was the one that created that situation. How awful I felt. And honestly, I wanted to spend more time with just them but I took that away. I contemplated giving notice to the newer family (the extra money made things easier financially, but wasn't worth it), and after a couple incidences (not on my part, but still I don't feel right sharing them here), I knew I had to do the right thing and let them go. I continued on with my first daycare family, and after many months, things seemed to go back to what normal had been.

And now we have more good days than bad days, but we still have tough ones from time to time. I'm happy with how things are daycare-wise, although if you've read my recent post about our big news, you know that our daycare days will be coming to an end.

It will be interesting to see where life brings us next, and how we will all adjust to the changes. I have a good feeling about things, and while I know the children may have a more difficult time adjusting, I think overall they will be happy with the move.

This ends my long, drawn out "series" of A Life Worth Living, but of course life goes on, and so will this blog :-) I don't find the time to sit down and type as often as I have "posts" running through my head, but I will continue to post when I can...

Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 1: A Reflection
Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 2: A Decision Is Made

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