Sometimes I Wish I Didn't Care So Much

During lunch today, after the kids were done and had run off to play, my husband asked if there was anything he could do to help out today. Wednesday is a 'big day' for me, so I have been doing a few projects around the house, mainly organizing and cleaning. The house is kept up fairly decent from day to day, but toy overload was setting in, so it was time for rotation, and the basement has been in a bit of disarray lately. Anyways...I jokingly asked my husband if he could plan out menus for the next few weeks (I plan out breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as well as snack for daycare days - makes life sooo much easier!). He said sure, and rattled off "mac & cheese, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese..."  I laughed and added in "fish sticks".

Then I said "Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much". He nodded in agreement. I replied "except that I care too much about you and the kids..."

It is such a struggle sometimes. It would be so easy to buy convenience items and I know everyone would eat them. Just think of all the extra time I would have! Planning menus would take no time at all. I wouldn't have to plan around what fresh ingredients to incorporate into multiple meals, or what I need to prepare ahead of time to ensure meals can be served at meal time, etc... But, I'm too far in now to go back. Plus, I love that we eat healthy and that my children are learning healthy eating habits. And, I do love to cook and bake.

I also wish I didn't care so much about taking care of my house. It's rare that I do a thorough cleaning, but everyday is filled with dishes, laundry, cleaning/tidying up, etc...all the basics that most people do - although maybe it's not an everyday thing for others. I would love to let the dishes go for a few days sometimes, or let the laundry pile up, to tackle it all at once for a couple hours. But I can't. With running a business out of my home, I just don't feel comfortable letting things slide.

I don't mean to complain, I'm working on that, but I guess this is a place where I can do that sometimes, just because I can :-)  I'll continue to do the things I do, because I DO care, but little by little I will find ways to make them seem less tedious. I will find ways to fit in more of the things I truly love to do, little by little.

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much...but I do.