Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Life Worth Living - PART 2: A Decision Is Made

Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 1: A Reflection
Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 3: Where I Am Now

When I hit rock bottom I decided that I couldn't go on 'living' life how I was living it. Something had to change. I had to leave my job. It is AMAZING how even putting an idea into your head can do wonders for your emotional well being. I felt SO MUCH better just by putting the thought into my head that I was going to leave my job-for real.

A lot of people think about leaving their job, but thinking about it, and actually making the decision to do it, are two completely different things. I believe making the decision to leave my job was the hardest part. It took a couple years of thinking about it to actually decide to do it - it was the medical/dental insurance holding me back. (It got to the point that I realized living the life I was living - just to keep good insurance - was not worth it. Switching to my hubby's insurance would cost more, but we'd no longer have the daycare expense...we'd make it work.)  Typing up my resignation letter, turning it in, and talking with my immediate supervisor (we were "in between" bosses at that time) about my decision to leave were easy.

A couple months before actually resigning I had decided that I would become a Licensed Childcare Provider. It seemed like a great idea because I would be able to be at home with my children, but still make income to help pay the bills since living on one income wasn't an option. The licensing process was no easy task, between paperwork and getting the house set up, but I managed to get everything taken care of and received my license to start in August 2010.

My first call came in June, and after interviewing and working out some details, I had my first family set to start in August. Two kids, part-time (full days, but every other day, alternating weeks). I had planned on taking full-time kids, but the family seemed like such a good fit so I decided that it was meant to be.

The adjustment for our family took a bit of time, but mostly because I returned from a 3 week vacation in Finland on Saturday night, then opened my daycare on Monday morning (and maybe because I had been a SAHM since mid-May). My son had a very difficult time after I came back - he turned 2 while I was away, so he was young and I believe he was mad at me for being gone so long. Any time I left without him (for groceries, etc) I think he thought I wasn't going to come back. It broke my heart. It took about 4 weeks for him to adjust to my being back. My daughter was just over 3 at the time, but the adjustment went pretty well for her.  (A few months ago while in the car with the kids we were talking about Finland and me going back sometime, and them coming with me when they're older. My son made a comment (and I wish I could remember it exactly) but it was basically about me not coming back. He was worried that if I went, I wouldn't come back. I asked if he was sad about when I was gone last time for a really long time, and he said yes. I was amazed that he had that memory... I reassured him that I would always come home to him...) Getting off track here...

After the adjustment period, things were going pretty well. The daycare kids were great (boys - 5 months old and 3 years old when they started) and occasionally I took some friends kids when their regular daycare was closed. I loved having part-time kids because it gave me days to be with just my own kids.  I continued getting calls for daycare, but most were for full-time...and after having part-time I decided that I wasn't interested in taking full-time kids. Maybe I was spoiled by having part-time kids to start with, but I'm glad it worked out that way because although becoming a licensed childcare provider seemed like the solution to my "problems", I wasn't truly prepared for what it would mean for me and my family...

Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 1: A Reflection
Click here to read: A Life Worth Living - Part 3: Where I Am Now